colors of life

She gazes across the lake. The water is teeming with life and she is dead inside. She would like nothing more than to bathe herself in the water so that it might breathe some life back into her. She doesn’t know if she can be alone. She will be all alone. Nobody to comfort her. Nobody to hold her as she cries all the tears her body holds. Nobody to hold her hand as she grieves for her loss.  Nobody to tell her that she is loved. She tries to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill from her eyes. If she starts now she fears that she will never stop. She closes her eyes.

Once upon a time there was a girl. A girl filled with life, filled with love. She touched everybody she met. She left a little bit of her glow with those who crossed her path. She loved life and she truly felt that life loved her back. She was the flower that never stopped blooming. A colorful flower that spread her color to everything around her. When did the petals start falling? When did the flower of so many vibrant colors turn to shades of grey?

Now there is a girl who cries endless tears. She cries on the inside for lost colors, for lost life. The pain is unbearable as she feels pieces of herself being torn away. She is a broken, wilting flower. She wants to reach towards the sun, but it seems so far away. She curls into herself. She is alone. She weeps for the girl she once was.

She opens her eyes and the threatening tears spill down her cheeks. She has an unyielding urge to go to the water. She feels the water with her toes. It is cold and sends a shiver through her body. She knows that she can’t go slowly. She needs to stop thinking and take a risk. She closes her eyes and tries not to think of the coldness. She searches for the warmth that is buried deep within. She opens her eyes and looks at her reflection. She is surrounded by so many magnificent colors. She takes a deep breath and she jumps.

7/2011